No, you can’t

Ah, retirement. Now is the time to do what I want. I can fly over to different place, some quite remote. I will take in what each place has to offer. When I am not flying around, I will drive to all the National Parks nearby and absorb beauty of what my country has to offer. Back home, I will relax. For lunch I will make myself a sandwich with ham and cheese. For dinner, it will be a fish or a steak now and then. Before dinner, I will have a glass of wine, and somedays, a sip of Bourbon. Finally, after dinner, I will have a dessert. I will have a great time.

Ah, retirement.

Hold on. Haven’t you heard it is time to retire retirement? If you don’t get engaged in some other activity, your brain will turn into a mush and you will die an early death.

Now is the time to do what I want.

Privileged, aren’t we? Think of all the poor people who have to work their rear ends off. You should be ashamed of having wealth that allows you to retire. Give up all your ill-gotten goods.

I can fly to different places, …

Fly? Did you say fly? Do you have any idea of the greenhouse emissions these airplanes are creating? It is people like you who have doomed our planet to severe climate crisis.

… some quite remote.

Here comes the privilege once again. By going to remote places, you will destroy flora and fauna of every corner of the earth. Haven’t we ruined our planet enough already?

I will take in what each place has to offer.

I know exactly what you mean. You will take thousands of pictures and post them all over. Then your ego will be boosted when people praise you. It is time to listen to all the gurus and get off this ego bandwagon.

When I am not flying, I will drive …

And how much emission will you add to what is already an unsustainable load on the environment? I can understand if you are driving to see your doctor, but driving just for fun? Come on.

… to all the National Parks nearby, and absorb beauty of what my country has to offer.

Overrun all the National Parks, that’s what your action, and that of all people like you, will do. Have you seen pictures of a bison being chased by hundred tourists?

Back home, I will relax.

Relax? As I said before, this is the surest way to head for an early end to your life. Haven’t you read what sedentary life can do to people?

For lunch, I will make a sandwich of ham and cheese.

Good god! Ham? Cheese? First, you will kill all the pigs and eat them. Not only it is bad for pigs, it is terrible for the environment. Then, you will add cheese. Have you thought of what that will do to your cholesterol? Also, what is cheese made up of? Animal milk. How many calves will be left without nourishment so you can indulge yourself with cheese? Finally, bread. Haven’t you heard that the processed carbohydrate is terrible for you? Makes you diabetic. Kills you through heart diseases.

For dinner, it will be fish, …

We are already wiping out most of fish in the ocean. Now, you will become an active participant. When there are no fish left, it will be your fault.

…or a steak now and then.

You must be kidding. You certainly have no regard for your health, do you? If refined carbohydrate does not kill you, steak will.

Before dinner, I will have a glass of wine,

You thought wine is good for you, didn’t you? Read the latest in medical journals. Wine is bad for you, period. Ruins your liver, makes you crazy, increases chances of cancer.

and somedays, a sip of bourbon.

Wine is not enough for you, is it? You have to drink whiskey? Are you out of your mind? Just multiply every bad thing wine does by a large factor and you get the effects of whiskey.

Finally, after dinner, I will have a dessert.

There we go again. Sugar!! It will wreck a havoc on your body. You seem to have a deep-seated desire to shorten your life.

I will have a great time.

No, you can’t

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I am a retired management consultant who enjoys reading and writing on a variety of subjects. I am fascinated by people, places and physics.

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Ashok B. Boghani

I am a retired management consultant who enjoys reading and writing on a variety of subjects. I am fascinated by people, places and physics.